You came in 3rd in IOWA
Probably wondering why.
Saying to yourself right now
‘How did I lose to a funny named black guy?’
Since I have lost a couple poetry slams in my day,
Sometimes even to a rookie poet
I know how pissed off and disappointed you are,
So let me be heroic.
The political experts say to win New Hampshire and more,
You got to go negative so I know you looking for dirt.
Well look no further than this stage,
Because I got some evidence
that proves how Barack Obama’s campaign really works.
So here are the top 5 reasons Barack’s a success:
Reason number 5!
How did Barack blow out John Edwards and Clinton in the first place?
Barack made a deal to fuck Oprah Winfrey,
and I have the secret sex tape.
He wrote a book about the sex trade with Oprah
named ‘Dreams of my father’ and it’s true.
If Oprah’s rich ass was attending that college in Hawaii
instead of Barack’s mom, he would dream of fucking her too?
Reason number 4!
Explains how Barack got young voters to back him hands down.
He admitted in his book he’s drank alcohol plus did coke
and they like how that sounds.
You keep bragging about your experience.
and how you ready to lead.
People under 30 don’t give a shit and they more impressed,
if the next president is a guy that also loves some good weed.
Reason number 3!
Will help you understand despite you being a woman and white.
The majority of female voters in Iowa voted for Barack,
and not for you Hilary, to lead the fight.
The truth is Barack won that demographic
by being upfront and posing with Michelle.
And you’re guaranteed to win over white women,
if you’re successful and black and not trying act like a white male.
They probably don’t trust your judgment,
Because you voted for the war
and stood by your man through all that mess.
Mistakes that left
American blood on the battlefield,
and an American president’s cum ob a bimbo’s dress.
Reason number 2!
is sure to help you and explain why the Obama name
did not kill his chance in a white Midwest state
White folks used to care about white English names.
but that was in the past when foreigners with funny names
knew their place.
The only time you meet someone with an English name
is when you stand in line at Star Bucks
or get greeted at Walmart or Best Buy
Try calling customer service for anything in America
and if someone named Bob answers the phone call
this poem is a god damned lie!
We can vote for a Barack
because we buy slurpies and take cabs from him everyday fool.
And don’t give me that shit,
about Obama rhyming with Osama.
Because Bush and Dick rhymes some evil shit too.
Like Bush and Dick…
tax cuts for the rich!
and fuck the constitution and air pollution,
we republicans bitch!
Final reason number 1!
is the top explanation
Barack won and shocked all cynics
Because when it comes to kicking over priviledged white politician asses
Barack should hold a clinic.
He was the first black man to be president of the Harvard review.
First black man to be the senator of Illinois.
Fuck you talking about experience Hillary,
Barack’s got experience beating all the white boys.